Chairman gives serpent the dreaded vote of confidence

BUAFC Golf Society Chairman and former Race to Holly Fry champion Liam ‘Sloth’ Hope has moved to give the May Masters Tournament Director Tim Kilpatrick the dreaded vote of confidence.

Recent reports have been circulating that the well known Snake Kilpatrick in his efforts to arrange the May event, has been planning to potentially avoid the provision of prizes and pre match food in the entry fee as well as securing his green fee for free and rigging the pin positions. This has resulted in comparisons to the 1948 Olympics and 2022 Qatar World Cup. It is also reported that a whistleblow to society officials had been received from another society member on moral grounds. At the time of writing, the whistleblower is as yet unidentified.

Hope however has moved quickly to defend the Snake, and provided the following statement; “recent reports appear to have cast doubt over the arrangements of the upcoming May Masters event and Tim Kilpatrick’s ability to perform the role of TD. It is true that this is the 3rd time Tim has performed the TD role and that the previous 2 attempts were shrouded in controversy, but the society officials would like to give him a public vote of confidence this time round. We’re confident that there’ll be no repeat of him turning up late, forgetting welcome packs, #beans&coffeegate or #playoffgate. As we turn in to the 2018 season, we hope to avoid controversy and there’s no better slithery creature to be at the forefront of that drive than Match Referee Tim himself. As Chairman, I have discussed the situation with Tim and although finances and the balance sheet for the event are a current issue, he’s assured me all will be resolved. We believe he can turn this around and urge everyone to keep all fingers and toes crossed”.

The Snake himself declined to comment.

The society newsroom will continue to follow this story as it unfolds.